Feed My Sheep

I have been thinking a lot lately about the experiences and trials I have had in my life.  I am a firm believer that we have experiences, pleasant or unpleasant to help us learn and grow to become more like our Savior.  I also believe we have experiences that give us empathy to understand and assist those around us who experience trials in their lives as well.  Generally, I am very positive about my life and trials, however, I must admit that I have struggled to come to grips with many of my trials I currently  face.  I have been feeling a bit sad that my life is just not turning out to be what I wanted or expected.  I am 37 in the midst of a divorce again, and I feel particularly unsettled right now.  Nearly 8 years ago, I experienced a heartbreak I never thought was possible.  It was deep and intense and I spent hours weeping and bawling with gut wrenching sobs.  I had experienced betrayal and the raw pain that accompanies it.   I have always felt that pain in my soul, even years later.  At times, I wanted to bury that experience, and make it not exist. 

I have a dear friend who is currently undergoing some of the very same experiences.  Realizing I could relate, I opened up to her knowing it would be helpful to her.  I have shared the intense feelings of loss I felt and still feel.  I shared the strength I have recieved, and the insight I have gained.  This has not been easy and has dreadged up old pain and emotions I wish I did not feel, and added to my current pain and struggles.

The other day, after pouring my heart out to God about how I have nothing left to offer or nothing left to give in support, the most interesting experience happened.  I was chatting with my dear friend and out of nowhere, she thanked me from the bottom of her heart for being there for her.  She said she offered grattitude daily to God for me and my experiences that are helping her so much right now.  Tears poured down my cheeks and I realized that, even though I have experienced great pain and sorrow in my life, I was using that experience to help someone who needed to find their own strength. I felt as though God had given me a tender little mercy right then in re-affirming to me that my pain had a purpose. It was helping me feed the spirit of another one of Gods children.  The Savior told us to feed his sheep, I believe we do that in many ways, and one of the ways are by sharing our own heartache to support others in need.  I challenge you all to heed those words...."Feed My Sheep,"  Don't bury your pain and growing experiences, you never know when you will be someone elses angel!  And, don't forget to express your gratitude to others when they share their experiences with you, it could be just the thing they need to hear!