My Cup Runneth Over

We have all heard of that Ah hah moment in life!  Well today I really had a great ah hah moment that penetrated my soul!  I have always truly felt like my family is the most important thing in this life!  I knew it, lived it and felt it, but never had it hit me as hard and as clear as it did today.  We had as great day at church and Jeff was home for the holiday week, so it was nice to have all my kids with me.  We came home, got ready to eat dinner and my nephew, Nate, called to see if I needed my road plowed.  I told him that would be great and he came over, just in time for dinner!  During dinner, it was lively and loud and everyone was laughing and joking around….it felt like heaven to have all my kids’ home around the table.  As I watched them it just occurred to me that they are all I need! No partner, romance or passionate fling can offer me the joy I recieve from Motherhood. I have a very hard road ahead of me, one that is long and seems rather daunting.  I just need to cling to the strong impression I had to hold tight to my children; love them, spend quality time with them and cherish them!  If I do, I will know so much greater joy than ever imaginable!  I may be lacking the love and strength that comes from a partner, but God gave me these kids to love and raise, and He will be there to help me along the way.  What a great privilege I have to watch and mold these beautiful children into amazing young ladies and gentlemen!  My cup runneth over with love and pure joy!

"This too shall pass"

In my life, I have had many loves, not only people, but hobbies, objects, experiences, etc.  I imagine one of my very first loves were my parents.  Today I have the memories of my father weighing heavy on my mind.  He was always such a strong, tall man.  One that created imediate fear in my dates as a teenager; for fear of his mere handshake would crush them.  This was a man who, with his shiny white hair and tall stature, created an impermeable memory in all those who met him.  Over the years, I have met people who had met the tall, white haired guy who worked at the State School.  Of course, I knew they were talking of my Father.  There was none other like him.  Once a man with great stature and dignified appearence, he was hard to forget for those who met him.  Now as I sit here looking across the room at my father, I see a person who is far different than the one I have always known and loved.  He is slouched in his chair, frail and aged significantly from a year ago.  He cannot stand on his own, walk or move a good part of his body.  In the past year, I have witnessed a loss of his dignity and strength.  I always loved to sit and talk for hours with him as a teenager and an adult.  I found his knowledge on many things quite broad and he spoke with emotion and intelligence, despite his lack of a formal education.  Only a few times in the past few months have I been able to witness fleeting glimpses of his communication abilities.  I miss our talks so much.  I always knew Dad would have just the right thing to say to me, even if it was the simple words spoken to me during many trials; "this too shall pass."  I have so many wonderful memories of him.  He was always the parent who more physically loving.  He always had a hug for us and kisses at bedtime.  I have fond memories of sitting on his knees and putting barettes in his thick grey hair and laughing at the silliness, motorcycle rides and stories before bed.  He always led our family with great strength and love.  He taught us the importance of having God in our lives, prayer and listening to the promptings of the Holy Spirit.  He showed us these teaching not only in words, but in actions.  He may not have the ability to lead like he once did, but I know his love of God resides within him still.  He taught us love of family and over the years he has maintained great relationships with his extended family as well as his imediate family and most importantly, his grandkids.  I am grateful for his leadership and example in my life.  His advice many times was not adheared to and led to much heartache on my part.  How I wish I had listened a little more sometimes.  I suppose this is a normal regret many feel.  He may not of been a man of worldly wealth, but as I sit looking at him, I realize he is one of the richest men I know.  He has the blessing of eternal wealth.  His wealth will continue to multiply for eternity through his posterity.  His life and example has touched many over his 66 years.  Even though he sits weak, aged and frail, his life and example lives on within me.  I love you Dad, "this too shall pass."